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I would very much like to say I had a love at first site experience when I first met Alan however, the truth is I thought he was a bit geeky and yet I told myself I was no Farrah Fawcett and to at least give him a chance.

The first ‘date’ was a blind one. He drove up to my parent’s house and took me to the movie, Mrs. DoubtFire. The fact he’d held the door open for me caused me to believe he was a gentleman so at least he had one quality I’d always hoped for in a man. After the movie we went to his home which was actually an apartment in the basement of a house he owned.

As we walked down the stairs from the garage I couldn’t help but notice the stench of cat urine growing stronger with each step. When he opened the door my eyes began to water from the odor and I won’t get into the amount of garbage littering the place was. He had to move junk from an outdoor patio couch for a place for us to sit. I kept asking myself why on earth this was happening, and I didn’t want to offend him regardless of the fact the stench in the place was offending me, but after a half hour I asked him to take me home.

It took me two days to get the small out of my nostrils.

I wasn’t sure what to think other than after all these years it was someone who didn’t seem to mind being with me, so when he did call again I did go out with him.

Some of you, ok—MOST of you—woman would have written him off after the first date. I simply couldn’t for the very fact he’d been the ONLY guy to come into my life and I was in my thirty’s.

Note: Desperation often causes us more trouble than we ever intended to happen.

Anyway, there were a few times we’d go out with his friends; sit at a restaurant and all I could think was, “Oh my God, I’m sitting at the geek table!” I saw people around us glance our way. His best friend has a laugh that causes my spine to stiffen and it’s booming; able to go through brick walls. Still I reminded myself not to be judgmental. Who was I? Perhaps I was ‘geeky’ too though I’d never considered myself a part of that category. People were people, and these people were friendly if not a bit odd….It is hard to get past the attitude of thinking I was better than anyone else because I wasn’t, nor will I ever be. But that’s part of that whole pride factor and I needed to work on then, and still do today.

During this time of ‘dating’ I kept having these warning bells go off in my heart yet ignored because I was struggling against the pride thing, and believing this was God’s best for me. When summer came and we went to the river together for the first time I discovered a quirk of his that really caused the caution flag to come out. If I’d only heeded it I wouldn’t have gone though almost 14 years of hell….